Content Warning

Greetings and Salutations.
Because my stories have bite, they can contain content that isn't suitable for work or children. Not a lot of truly graphic sex or violence, but there are some questionable or heated posts. F-bombs are not uncommon, so watch your footing.

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Movie Review - Primal

Oh, yes, bring me that Nick Cage cheeseyness! I didn't need to know anything other than that he was in it, and I was all too happy to watch Primal.

And I got exactly what I expected: glorious scene chewed after scene-chewing scene!

Nicholas Cage was all too happy to be himself, and it worked. You're not supposed to like his character, but he becomes the hero and redeems himself by the end. Sorta. He's still not entirely likeable, but at least he's not a total animal-smuggling douche.

Famke Janssen is just kinda there reading her lines, with her weirdly distracting face. Weird, because she was once so hot, but there's something about her eyes and cheekbones that makes her hard to watch. She looks good in a Navy uniform, but she just seems bored, only there because someone had dirt on her.

Kevin Durand makes a good soldier-turned-psycho, but only if you like generically crazy psychos. That's more a fault of the writers; he really does the best with what he's given, and chews up his share of the scenery.

The CG animals made me giggle. They weren't terrible, but they weren't very good either. Especially not the jaguar.

It kills 90 minutes in a somewhat enjoyable way, but absolutely nothing will be lost if you skip right past this one.