Friday, February 17, 2012

#FridayFlash - Neat Freaks of the Zombie Apocalypse

This is an actual conversation I had with my sister-in-law. Fictionalized a little, but the jist is there.

And if you share the punchline with others, make sure you do so David Caruso style.

***

Dragon_lady: so what are you up to tonight?
rosemum69: trying to get these hinges
                     on my pantry...only thing dont have
Dragon_lady: /snerk oh noes, your food will get out
                      soup on parade
                      unsightly boxes on display
rosemum69: not that
                     it's chaotic
                     i cant have chaos in my life
rosemum69: "mom, where's the sugar?"
                     "under the table honey"
Dragon_lady: neat freak
rosemum69: that's the last thing you
                     could call
                     me. i just have to have order
Dragon_lady: you're going to be miserable come the zombie
                       living in the woods and out of backpacks.    
                       tripping over body parts.
                       scavenging and running and making do
rosemum69: not the same thing
                     there's no house there, nothing permnent
Dragon_lady: until we get a camp. then you;ll have issues
                      "why is that zombie head over there? do you 
                       think we ive in a BARN?"
                       "ummm....yes, actually."
rosemum69: *snort*
                     are you actally bringing your zombie gut covered
                     clothes in here?
Dragon_lady: heads go in that pile, arms go in that pile
                       and wipe your god damn feet before you go into
                       teh abandoned building
rosemum69: you can bring weapons
                     ill bring purell
                     and use it like NAPALM
Dragon_lady: yes, because we need flaming zombies
                       attacking us
rosemum69: and it'l be a clean kill
Dragon_lady: -.-
                       i hate you
rosemum69: but i lurves you
Dragon_lady has signed off.

12 comments:

  1. AWESOME! I could just see a neat freak going postal on a horde of zombies — "YOU CLEAN THIS $#!+ UP! NOW!" and they all start picking up body parts. And eating them. :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shuffle your feet three times on the welcome mat.

      Delete
  2. That's priceless. Bring on the apocalypse and OCD.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must count the zombies before mowing them down.

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  3. I am not a neat freak! I just don't want everyone who comes into my place to see that I live on Rice-A-Roni and Popcorn. Also, did you just put your boots on the couch?!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. and another thing, Rosemum69??? Really ... REALLY?! At least it's not SunshineLollipop (LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  5. My God, I can imagine my mum being like that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the little things we never think about having to deal with.

      Delete
  6. Lysol is a great way to ward off zombies. I've seen it work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does kill 99.9% of household germs. And zombies would be absolutely infested.

      Delete

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