Friday, July 1, 2011

#FridayFlash - I can Haz Crime Fightin'

"A kitteh stalks his prey in the concrete jungle-"

"No, crap."


"Whacha mean?"

"Just that. It's total cliche."

"No one writes about crime fighting lolcats."

"A ludicrous main character doesn't make 'concrete jungle' any more original. Nor will the novelty of your kitteh keep people from closing the blog."

"I Can Haz Crime Fightin' is gonna rock."

"About that..."

"You...you don't like it?"

"It has potential. Everything has potential. But as it stands...Well, it's a little rough."

"It's crap too."

"That's not what I-"

"You said that it was crap! You just did."

"Give me strength."

"Whadya say?"

"I didn't say the story idea was crap. I was merely trying to get your attention in regards to the opening. That was too rough to say. I'm sorry."

"Would you write 'bout a lolcat?"

"Me? No. I don't have that depth of humor."

"You think I do?"

"You most certainly have more experience with this lolcat meme than I do. You would know all the right phrases to use."

"So...you'll help me?"

"Of course. What else are friends for?"

"Cleaning puke."

"So gross."

"Hee hee."

"Let's move on. What is that motivation of Neo the Kitteh? What is he trying to do?"

"Fight crime."

"Beyond that. A true motivation. Is he a former cop turned vigilante? Is he a hard-bitten gumshoe trying to get a paycheck? Were his parents killed and now he wants vengeance?"

"He's a lolcat, not a lolbat."

"Ugh. I walked right into that."

"Why's he need this anyway?"

"So you're readers will care about him. They'll want to keep reading, and will cheer for him when he wins, and become friends with him."

"Neo's a lolcat. He's already loved."

"You can't count on what he is keeping people interested. You love burritos, but a story about a burrito laying on a table wouldn't mean anything to you."

"Like I read much."

"You...don't...read?"

"Not if I can help it."

"-----"

"Dude! You're really red."

"I just remembered that I have anywhere to be but here."

"But!"

"No buts. I have to go."

7 comments:

  1. All your story is belong to me!

    That was pretty funny, not just because of the ridiculusness of it, but also because some 'writers' are just like this one...

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  2. Loved this - I'm not a big fan of lolcats but I love the idea of someone trying to be a famous and popular writer off the back of something else. *cough* Meyer *cough*

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  3. "No one writes about crime fighting lolcats."

    Loved this line. Very cool concept. And as I book I think it could work. Millions of Lolcats fan out there!

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  4. Youz is definitely funny ^_^

    Loved this line "Like I read much."

    "You...don't...read?"

    "Not if I can help it."


    I actually have heard of wouldbe writers when asked this question what do you read, answer oh I don't read, I just wanna write! LOL

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  5. Anybody who's stuck with the industry has met that would-be writer/artist who doesn't have the time/interest to read. It's infuriating, alright.

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  6. That was funny, Raven. I love the "I can haz..." touch.

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