Friday, February 4, 2011

#FridayFlash - The Crazy Cat Lady

"This is all for one woman?" Nick asked, hefting a second box onto the dolly.  Chunks of ground beef filled one box, frozen chicken breasts another.

Jeff handed him a smaller box of frozen shrimp and fish fillets.  "You'll get used to Old Lady McCarthy."

Nick narrowed his eyes, stepping out of the refrigerated delivery truck with his boss.  "What's wrong with her?"

Grunting as he hoisted a cow haunch over his shoulder, Jeff glanced at the sprawling ranch house.  "Nothing's wrong with her, per se.  She's just very focused and determined.  She needs hobbies, and things to work on.  Once her son took over the cattle, she settled on cats."

Nick pushed the dolly, frowning.  "She's a crazy cat lady?"

"Something like that."  Stepping onto the porch, they were relived from the Texas sun.  "It's not like she's one of those weirdo ones that live in filth.  Old Lady McCarthy spoils her animals, makes sure they live well.  All this meat's for them."

The young man stared at the boxes he pushed.  His family would take months to go through that much meat.  "She spends this money on her cats?"

"Funny thing about the rich.  They're rather eccentric.  Ive never seen a sixty-seven year old woman get as excited about the lions at the circus as she got."  Jeff rang the doorbell, shifting the massive chunk of beek.

Nick's stomach clenched as he remembered something from last night's news.  The circus had recently been robbed, a precious white lion stolen.  "What's the haunch for?" he whispered.  A deep roar answered from the back of the house.

9 comments:

  1. I bet that lion is going to want something a bit more fresh - watch out, Nick!

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  2. Good one! She may not be the stereotypical crazy cat lady, but if she's harboring lions, she certainly is crazy.

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  3. "Once her son took over the cattle, she settled on cats."

    Better than a crazy cow lady. Amusing little story Raven, thanks for sharing!

    Minor typo in second-to-last paragraph, "Ive" for "I've."

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  4. I always had plans to be a crazy cat lady, but now I see I can aim higher. Crazy lion lady, indeed!

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  5. If I ever turn into a crazy cat lady, that's the kind I want to be. Go big or go home...or something like that :P

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  6. What Eric said. Nice twist there at the end!

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  7. Thank you everyone. I'm feeling the love here.

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  8. Now that's a hell of a cat lady! Nice twist on a familiar stereotype.

    (small typo - "beek" should be "beef" - last word, 8th paragraph)

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  9. Thanks Danielle. I had just been at a circus when I wrote this, and I wanted to take the tigers home myself. If only I were rich enough to do so myself.

    Also, thanks for the typo. I go word blind sometimes.

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